When people say they are “afraid” of making fundraising asks one-on-one with a prospective donor, there are many facets to that fear.
One is the age-old fear of rejection. Everyone fears rejection to some degree. We fear it in our personal lives when we ask people to do something or in our professional lives.
Even the most magnificent major donor fundraiser will feel rejection. Indeed, if they don’t sometimes receive a “no,” it undoubtedly means they aren’t asking enough people to donate.
There’s no magic solution to this challenge.
But there are some mental techniques that have helped other fundraisers get past this fear.
For one, we can recalibrate in our minds what we mean by success. Don’t judge success by school standards (90% = an A, 80% = a B, etc.). Judge yourselves by major donor fundraiser standards (anything better than 50% yes is pretty darn good).
Another tool is to recognize that most “no’s” are really “yes” to something else. You may be “selling” hamburgers while they want hot dogs. You may be selling environmental protection while they want to feed the hungry. In other words, they may have other nonprofits or campaigns they wish to prioritize. Or, in other cases, really valid personal needs that they need to prioritize. It will be an exceptionally rare circumstance where someone will say “no” to you while saying they’re going to invest their dollars in something you actively oppose.
Another thing to always bear in mind is that many “no’s” are actually “not now.” They may have already given away all they can during the period in time, but perhaps you’ve set them up for a big gift next year. Your success is having primed the pump for a future ask that will succeed.
And even beyond future gifts, you can learn to recognize the many other positive outcomes that can come out of a relationship-focused donor meeting even if no gift materializes. They can volunteer. They may have offered ideas you like for how the organization can do something differently. You may learn about something else happening in the community. You may get leads or referrals to other donor prospects. I’ve experienced each of these outcomes and by focusing on the positive, the “sting” of rejection quickly faded.
In the end, all the mental tricks in the world won’t fully eliminate the momentary feeling that something is awry when people tell us “no.” It’s still part of our human nature. But by thinking consciously about it, successful major donor fundraisers can quickly go from “fear” of rejection to embracing the good that comes out of any one-on-one donor meeting.
If you have other techniques you have used to get past your own fear of fundraising, please let me know!